When Kids Grow Up
We often hold onto a lot of assumptions about our children, based on old stories of how they once were.
As parents we must understand and accept that our kids are growing and changing every day and that they will continue to do so into adulthood. Therefore, if we choose to hold our children in our minds as the people they were in the past, we may actually limit their personal growth and potential and cause conflict in the present.
Instead of coming from a place of assuming we know who they really are, why not try being curious? Ask yourself, “Who is my son or daughter becoming? What is he or she blossoming into?” By coming from a place of curiosity, we are much more likely to appreciate our children at all ages and stages.
When I go to other countries to lead 3-day workshops, I often come home thinking, “Who is Amelia (my daughter) now? What does she like more or less? How tall is she? What stories from school will she share?” I am always amazed and honored to witness her growth and personal development and to see how her tastes change.
For example, last year Amelia did not like math and she thought she was bad at it. This year she loves the subject and is getting top grades. Had I kept last year’s perspective in my mind for this year, how would that have impacted Amelia when we discussed math?
It is always beneficial to look at your children with fresh eyes. Take a moment to marvel at the person your child is becoming. What do you see?
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Category: Reflections, Skills
Thanks for that article, I really needed that! I never really thought of my perception of them in the past as holding them back. I’m not a good person with change ( and I’ve wondered why my son is like this
) so this is something I need to work on!