Hungry for Letting Go

The topic around food and children comes up very often.  For example, I know many parents who feel very hopeless and start arranging their lives around food. While I totally understand this, because I was one of them too, I now see that my own attachments and beliefs about food determined my relationship with my daughter when she was younger, and not necessarily in the ways I intended.  However, once I trusted my daughter to know what her body needed, I could free myself from my own beliefs about food and cultivate healthier meal times in our home.

What do we know about food?  What do we believe we know about food?  Some of my beliefs: You must finish your plate.  And, I am a bad mom if my daughter leaves the table with no food in her belly. It was hard to let go. Sometimes, I denied snacks between suppers in the hopes that she would eat a “proper” dinner. The list goes on.

Once, when Amelia was very hungry, she was served her most favorite dinner. She started to eat very enthusiastically, but halfway through the meal she decided she had had enough.  I was shocked because her plate was not that full to begin with, and my expectation was for her to finish it. Then I noticed that she really had had enough. In silence, I let go of my belief and put my attention on her. I noticed that clearly her body knew how much it needed. It was one of those “aha moments” for me.  If I had insisted that she finish her food, in time she would eventually stop listening to her body. This means that she would consume the amount of food that others decided for her.  She was a healthy child, and certainly not starving herself. I realized that I had to trust her and let go.

I was able to see that I was about to pass on a belief, which in the long run could be quite dangerous for her health.  Once I accepted that my actions could have unintended consequences, I let go of that belief and trusted in her knowledge.

Now, there are some days when she walks away from the table without much food in her stomach, but I don’t make a big deal anymore. I have learned that it is healthier for my daughter to know her body, to feel empowered, and to trust that the decisions she makes on her own are worthy.  She is still healthy, and we don’t struggle around the food anymore, but most importantly, I am in peace around mealtime, and so is my daughter.

I would really like to hear what your beliefs are around food.

Ask yourself the following questions;

What is it that I may need to let go of?

What do I believe is going to happen if I let go of this battle?

What is my fear? Or what am I afraid of?

Thank you,

- Gonan Premfors

Co-Founder Parentology

Image available under cc license by D Sharon Pruitt

Related posts:

1. Limiting Beliefs
2. It’s time to trust our children
3. Trust Your Inner Knowing
4. Being Aware of our Children’s Unique Passions
5. Behavior at Home vs. Behavior in Public

Tags: children and food, featured, food, habits, healthy eating, limiting beliefs, listening, meal time for kids, meal time for parents, Parenthood, Parenting

Category: Reflections, Resources, Stories